Monday, April 27, 2009

Continuing from Episode 5: Revenge of the Hangover

My heat transfer final is tomorrow at 8 am. I figured my time would best be spent reproducing this website here. I think we all can relate. And here's some friendly encouragement for whoever is cramming right now.

Episode 6: Return of the Slacker
(The Dark Side of Homework)

Darth Vader: "You cannot slack forever Luke..."

Luke Skywalker: "I will not study."

DV: "Give yourself to the Dark Side of Homework... it is the only way you can save your grade... YES. Your thoughts betray you, your desire for a high grade is strong... especially for..... PHY-sics. So, you are taking PHY-sics. Your feelings have now betrayed it too. Obi-wan was wise to hide it from me, now his failure is complete... If calculus cannot get you to study, perhaps your physics will!"

LS: "NOOOO!"

(Luke draws his crib and ignites it...)
(Darth is defeated...)


Emperor Palpitine: "Heh heh heh... GOOD! Heh heh heh. Your crib has made you productive... now... fulfill your project, and write your thesis at my side!"

LS: "Never." (tosses crib aside) "I'll never join the Dean's list. You failed your highness, I am a Slacker, like my father before me..."

EP: "So be it, Slacker."
(after a bit of film)

EP: "If you will not work for your grade, then it will be destroyed."

(shoots F's from his fingertips)

EP: "Young fool, only now, after the final, do you understand the material..."

LS: "Aah!"

EP: "Your feeble knowledge is no match for the power of doing your homework."

EP: "You have paid the price for your lack of motivation."

LS: "AAAH! AUGH! TUTOR, PLEASE!!! AAAAAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!

EP: "And now, young Slacker... you will fail..."

LS: "AAAAAAAAAH!! TUUUTTTTOOOORRR!!! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

(DV throws EP down the shaft)


(later)

Han Solo: "I'm sure Slacker didn't fail when the class bombed."

Leia Organa: "He didn't. I can feel the curve."

HS: "You study with him, don't you."

LO: "Why, yes."

HS: "Alright, fine, I understand, when he gets back, I won't get in the way."

LO: "Its not like that at all... he's my lab partner..."

(HS and LO kiss)

THE END
May the curve be with you...

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