First Neda

Then Farrah

And then Michael

And now Billy. No!

Who will be next? I hope it's this guy:

Epic Post

So back in April I was desperately looking for a roommate because I had just signed the lease for my entire apartment which I couldn't afford by myself. I put some ads out on the MTU website one of which is was publicly viewable. Soon after I got scammer emails with obvious red flags (grammar, all caps, alleged Christians, immediately wanting to send money, etc.). This one was tricky.

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I am interested in renting your unit that is listed on the off campus housing website and I would like to know if the rental is still available. I would also like to know when the lease is expected to start and end?. Thanks. Jennifer.

After a quick search on StalkerBook I found a one Jennifer Bowen on the Manchester network. That's her picture above.

Still available. What do you want to know? Lease is from June 1, 2009 to May 31, 2010. Rent will be $290 with water and heat. Security deposit will probably be $290 Electric has been $15-$30 (each) per month. Within walking distance of 4 bars with KBC right across the street. Middle of downtown Houghton - about a 20 minute walk to campus. ....etc, etc, etc.

Andrew, Thanks for the timely response. I am still interested in renting your unit and I am delighted to read about the utilities that are available in the home. I am English and I reside in the United Kingdom. I am 26yrs and I am a graduate student from the University of Manchester, England. I would be enrolling at the University for my post grad studies. I am a Christian (This is a common theme with apartment scams. Red Flag #1.) and I am a down to earth lady. I get along with people easily. I don't smoke and I drink socially. My hobbies are traveling, cooking, Nascar (LOL my ass it is), arts, painting, listening to music, dancing, swimming, badminton, tennis and reading. I love meeting people and hanging out with friends. I also love going to the movies once in a while. I like been neat and clean (Another common theme. Red flag #2) cos cleanliness is part of holiness. I will like you to tell me about yourself as well. I would move into the home in June and I would rent the unit for a year. (Wow, not even interested in seeing pictures. Red flag #3.) I am okay with the monthly rent and the terms and conditions for securing the unit. I hope to read from you soon. God Bless.

Well I'm 22.... So I give her some less than equivuilent info about me along with some pics of the apartment and a Google Street View of the place thinking my roommate search is over.

I am delighted to read from you again. Your response concerning the home is satisfactory and I would gladly inform my dad to send the rent's deposit to you asap. Meanwhile, I would like you to e-mail your full name, telephone number and mailing address so that the payment can be issued to you. Thanks and God Bless. Cheers.

At this point I got bombarded by two more obvious scammers and decide to do some more research into Bowen. I contact the University of Manchester to see what they say about her.

I'm a mechanical engineering student at Michigan Tech in the US. I've been contacted by someone by the name of "Jennifer Bowen" claiming to be a 26 year old graduate of The University of Manchester. She contacted me in regards to a room I'm renting out. She says she's enrolling here at Michigan Tech in the fall for "post grad studies". I was wondering if I could get a confirmation on whether or not this person did indeed graduate from the University or not. Thank you very much for any help.

Dear Andrew, Thanks for your enquiry. I have had a quick search of our database and we do not have any graduates of that name (surprising really as it is quite a common one!) I hope this is useful. Best wishes, Julie Division of Alumni Relations The University of Manchester

Convinced that Jennifer Bowen is actually Kunta Kinte from Nigeria I decide fuck with him until I get bored with this

Jennifer, I haven't been completely honest with you. I want to fully inform you before you make a commitment like this. You said that "cleanliness is part of holiness" and in that sense I must be serving on the right hand of Apollyon himself. I'm not very clean and it took several days of cleaning before I could even take those pictures - that was the reason for the delay. Also, you mentioned that you are a Christian. I honestly don't understand why or how, but that tells me you must be a raging religious imperialist. I can stand you living in the apartment, but I must warn you to not trifle with me or my beliefs in Apollyon the Destroying Angel of the Apocalypse. You MUST leave my Pentagrams alone. I own many guns. Also, you mentioned that you reside in England. I have to know, are you a native born or have you immigrated from elsewhere? I want to know because I've been diagnosed with severe Anglophobia. I think I would be able to look at you, but I'm positive I won't be able to speak to you, let alone carry on a verbal conversation. I will not tolerate any of your famous British understatement and you shall refer to SOCCER as such. Also, you will be prohibited from using any phonological splits such as the trip-trap and cot-caught and please, no yod-dropping or alveolar-flapping allophonics. I own many guns. One more thing concerns me. It's sort of embarrassing (for you) so I'll just come out and say it. When you are "on the rag" you will have to supply said rags. I'm not going to put up with buying a 12-pack of triple quilted just so it can be flushed in two days. So if you can live according to these unwritten rules then I don't believe we'll have any problems. -Andrew

I am delighted to read from you again. Your response concerning the home is satisfactory and I would gladly inform my dad to send the rent's deposit to you asap. Meanwhile, I would like you to e-mail your full name, telephone number and mailing address so that the payment can be issued to you. Thanks and God Bless. Cheers.

Disappointed that the response from Toby was an exact copy of his last one, I wanted to see if I could get any money from him. The way these work is by check fraud, but Western Union is instantaneous and unfuckable

I'm delighted that you're delighted about my womanizing, anglophobia, and satanism. Most people are slightly taken aback, believe it or not. Some cry. But I do need to know if you're a thoroughbred Brit or only an immigrant dewback. My psychiatrist tells me that the shock of you just showing up and turning out to indeed be British will probably be bad for everyone involved. I do own many guns after all. Anyways, about the rental deposit. Unfortunately I don't do banks anymore what with the current economic crisis and all. I now do all my financial transactions by way of cash or equivalent. I find the fastest, easiest, and safest way of transferring cash is by Western Union. My local Western Union agent location is at the Econo Foods grocery store in Houghton, Michigan. The full address is: 1000 West Sharon Avenue Houghton, Michigan 49931 906.487.9675 Also, send me your father's phone number or e-mail address so we can communicate better. This is such a relief to finally have this renter search over with. You wouldn't believe some of the scams I've had to deal with over the last few days. If these people put just half as much work into whoring themselves out as they did with these scams they could probably make more money for less effort. I mean for a five minute blowjob you could make like $9. Or if you took it up the bum as if you were a cum dumpster you could maybe make maybe $13 and change. Who knows, after many long hard days of blistering handjobs, gargling penis pudding, andepisiotomy inducing quickies you could make enough money to go to college. That way you would know that everything you achieved and accomplished in life is the result of staggeringly hard work rather than the result of being a financial parasite. And seriously, don't touch my Pentagrams or I'll rip your jaw off your face. Most Sincerely, Andrew Frederick Rames

OHH. I HV BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I WOULD ATTACH SOME OF MY PICTURES SO THAT U CAN HAVE AN IDEA ABOUT THE PERSON YOU'VE BEEN EXCHANGING MAILS WITH. SEND ME YOUR PICTURE B4 I CAN SEND ANY WESTERN UNION TRANSFER. FYI: I AM AMERICAN BY BIRTH.

So Toby sent me a bunch of pictures titled "linda#"

Linda, Uhhh, thanks for the pictures, I guess. I take what I said back. You could probably make much more money than I thought. You can find some of my pictures on facebook. I'd be friends with you, but there's so many damn Jennifer Bowen's out there. Convenient. Say, what was your major at The University of Manchester? What year did you graduate?

Toby had enough and hasn't replied since.

Forever Young

These look like the right colors? That's the fan and the thing next to it is the housing. Its flat black spray paint for high heats because its right on top of the engine. I'm out of the high heat stuff and the frame will be painted with a more glossy black. The fan housing doesn't really need the high heat stuff, so I'm probably going to paint it with the glossy stuff (only had enough paint for the one side for the picture). I know the picture is blurry, but it was getting dark and the flash made it look bad. This pic better shows the color. Think that red looks good? It's like uber heavy duty tractor paint so I think it'll be perfect. Thoughts?

Also, I'm not sure if you guys heard... but Michael Jackson got DEADED last night. At least now he'll be young forevvvverrrrrr. Holy shit, look out its zombie Michael Jackson!

Michelle told me the Onion posted breaking news sometime last night... and all it said was "Last Piece of Michael Jackson Dies" ROFLMAO

Dune buggy... again

We're down to black with a highlight of red or "other". Pick a color and list it here so we can get this done with lol.

I donno about fluorescent paint rames... dont know where to get it.... and if i put neons on it they'll break for sure....

EDIT: Nevermind bitches. I've consulted with Donald, and he tells me we shall paint it black and dark blood red. Not so much a sith-mobile as it will be an emo-mobile.

Heart Attack Grill

My brother Mike sent me this, it could be the coolest restaurant ever

Please...Go Fuck Yourself!

Ricardo Patrese of F1 racing takes his wife for a quick lap.

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Work is fun

A few weeks ago, someone ordered t-rails from us. If you don't know what they are, they're just big long iron/steel rails with a t-shaped slot cut through them. The original order was for "as cast" t-slots, which means they would be cast in and look like fucking shit lol. Today, Ryan (guy I work with) changed them to machined from solid so they would look better and we could machine them immediately. He sent an email to the kid who was supposed to deal with this shit to make sure the company knows about the change before we do it. None of this will change the time they recieve their shit but they need to be informed... but anyway this his response:

Ryan,

I had placed the purchase order for all products including 4 engine
jacks and 6 T-Rails on 5/20/2009. I was told over the phone that all components
were ready for delivery once my purchase request was received. I was also told
that lead time on these items was 4-6 weeks. I received your first request on
approval of engineer drawings of the T-Rails on 6/5/2009 (2 ½ weeks after Bay
Cast had received my purchase request). It has been almost one month since
purchase order forms were filed here at Lubrizol and all that I have received
from Bay Cast is ANOTHER request for approval on engineer drawings (meaning
that fabrication of the T-Rails has not begun). Design and fabrication of other
components have already been started here with respect to the previously
approved drawings. Design and construction on this project does not stop while
waiting for components from outside suppliers, however progress maybe halted if
sudden unforeseen changes arise and delivery times are not met.

What is the delivery time of the engine jacks? What is the
fabrication time of the T-Rails? What is the delivery time of the T-Rails?
Is the approval on the most recent drawings necessary?

Please respond via email so that a paper copy of all conversations
is kept. Please let me know if there is anything else you need to expedite this
process.

Regards,
Greg Miranda

What a fucking dickhead, right? Notice anything strange there? "Co-op Engineer".... this kids a fucking co-op student. What a douchebag. I told Ryan that on delivery day, he should shit in a bag and on it write "Deliver to Greg D. Miranda".

It had to be a black guy

Dune buggy

Ok clowns... what color should I paint the dune buggy? I'm gonna paint it black, but need a highlight color. I want to paint stuff like the fan on the inside of the shroud, the axles, foot pedals, etc. a brighter color. Heres a picture to remind you what it looks like now. Feel free to suggest different main colors too. Poll --->>

Hold onto yo butts

Ok, check out this GAMMMEEEE. Not sure if its actually good, but it got a 7.5 on IGN. The trailer makes it look super fucking cool though. Also, over the next week I'll probably scoop up and post all the good shit from E3. Apparently there was some new stuff for Mass Effect 2 and Assassins Creed 2. I donno what it was, but I'll check it today at lunch or something.

Commencing anal probe!

WOW! Black in White!

This is some russian ad for ice cream I guess.

Star Wars

Holy fuckin shit. I got an email from Bioware this morning. It contained a link to a new trailer. I came into work... and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS.

And you assholes laughed at me for joining their email list.... fuck YOU...

This is gonna be like the matrix mmorpg with lightsabers... only better....

Historical Moment

As I post this, GM is rushing to file for bankruptcy before the stock market opens. My shares will be dissolved into nothingness, and I will lose a couple hundred dollars. Although this pisses me off, I've discovered something fantastic. Geely is officially less risky of a stock than GM is. This risk analysis was probably updated last week sometime, before it was assumed they'd file for bankruptcy. WOOHOO at least I've got something for me. Geely stock is steady at 20 cents (I got it at 11.5 cents)